hello to everyone. I’ve been visiting this forum for the past few weeks, since my partner was diagnosed with MS. we’re both very young (21 and 23) and I’m really struggling with this situation. I just don’t know what to do or how to deal with this in general. the first weeks were better in a way, I was ok trying to be for her and to mantain things as ‘normal’ as possible. this means that we didn’t talk much about her dx or how she was feeling and I thought that it was ok, that maybe my ‘role’ in all of this was to keep her kinda distracted, to make her laugh, to keep the parts of the rutine we had that were still possible. the thing is that I just assumed all of this because she doesn’t really open up with me. she didn’t before, and since the dx it just got worse or maybe it feels worse because of the reason. I feel bad because she says that I’m putting pressure on her by asking some questions or wanting her to open up. yesterday for instance, I wanted to go to a place, she apparently didn’t but wasn’t really clear on it, she just asked me if I wanted to go THAT much and said that I should go alone which wasn’t an option for me. after that she went to lay in bed which is what she usually does when is sad or something happens and I tried to talk to her and she wouldn’t even look at me. I asked straightforward what was that made her sad and she just said that she didn’t want to answer that. I feel really bad and selfish because I was unable to just take that and idk hug her and be with her. I basically started saying that I needed her to open up with me, which is 100% true but it wasn’t the way to say it. I was feeling very overwhelmed and when I realised I was very off I went to another room to calm down and after a while she appeared keys in hand and ended up leaving after a while of me trying to make her stay. I feel terrible sad, ashamed and lost. I feel that I can’t control the part of me that is dying to have more information from her. I guess none of us is completly ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in this. I know I behaved badly because the last thing she needs right now is fighting with me, but I also know that I need more from her. I’m afraid she can’t (understandably) give me that right now, it has only been weeks weeks since her dx, but I also just don’t feel capable of dealing with this. I love her so much and would like to make things better, I don’t want us to break up but I’m scared of making all of this just worse for her.
sorry for the length. I hope someone can help me out on this.
thanks a lot