Last reply 2 weeks ago
Halloween 🎃 jokes

@guinness et crew

I’ve had a [email protected] weekend of barely surviving tbh folks, but hey managed to make it until Monday!

I know I’m a scouser and should be teeming with jokes, but I had a sense of humour failure at the weekend – couldn’t see, couldn’t stop shaking couldn’t sleep, eat, exercise etc and all my mates went to Cream at liverpool cathedral – I was lucky if I made it to the loo… hey ho!

Today another day, you can’t beat someone who won’t give up eh?!
My fave jokes at this time of year (Apart from my micro life… ) are:

I’ll be alright in a zombie apocalypse coz zombies eat brains…and
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders two pints of beer; and a mop
And one for the witches amoung us…

Why don’t witches wear knickers?
To get a better grip on their broom…!

I’m sure others have better! But hey, I tried!

Keep smiling folks ✨🔮✨

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wilf
2 weeks ago

The only joke I can remember is
What is blue and not very heavy?

Light blue!


guinness
2 weeks ago

@mermadia11 So sorry you’ve been having it rough, but look you’ve arrived at Mon, never ever give up, these are just challenges for us to work out how to get through them.Love the witch joke, i’m sure I’ve met Scouse Witches xxxxx


guinness
2 weeks ago

@wilf made me smile


stumbler
2 weeks ago

Had a scary moment when I was opening my new furniture with a Stanley knife.

I damn near slit my shelf.


george2sticks
2 weeks ago

@mermadia11,Liverpool is a nice place.I often pop up there to visit my old hubcaps.x


guinness
2 weeks ago

@stumbler ooooooo a Stanley joke


stumbler
2 weeks ago

Reminder to self:

Monday – Buy a coffin

Tuesday – Buy a coffin

Wednesday – Buy a coffin

Thursday – Buy a coffin

Friday – Buy a coffin

Saturday – Buy a coffin

Sunday – Buy a coffin

I decided to live everyday, like it’s my last.


guinness
2 weeks ago

@ stumbler That’s the right attitude to have but Don’t buy so many you will only need One


guinness
2 weeks ago

@george2sticks your lucky they only took your Hub Caps usually it’s also the Wheels


stumbler
2 weeks ago

I love Halloween it’s the only time of year I can be seen in public with the wife……


stumbler
2 weeks ago

I couldn’t afford to pay my exorcist bill.

So I got repossessed.


grandma
2 weeks ago

Q what do ghosts eat for dinner? A spooketti


amyshift
2 weeks ago

@stumbler, I have no idea you were so funny! And @wilf, not necessarily a Halloween joke but I will definitely be using that one in the future.

The only Halloween joke I can remember is:
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he had no BODY to go with.

I can only apologise for my lack of wit. But in my defence, sometimes the oldies are the best.


grahamjk
2 weeks ago

Here’s a few for you all,

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?
it raises their spirits.


chezy17
2 weeks ago

I love this time of year, Halloween, bonfire night, my birthday and Christmas 😊. Not so good on the liver but good all the same 😊.

Can’t wait to take the kids trick or treating, think it maybe my son’s last year though 😭!

Keep smiling chick, and I’m sorry that you’ve had a bad weekend, tomorrow is a new day 😊.

Now can someone please turn up the bloody heat cos I’m flipping freezing, I don’t do cold weather, except for snow, snow is fun 😊.

How do monster’s like their eggs?

Terror fried! X


guinness
2 weeks ago

keep em coming, put a smile someone’s face

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