5 years ago
Feeling stupid!!

Hi all,

Felt I really need to throw this question to all the girls out there. Have any of you had to admit defeat and hang up your heals for good and stick to flats?
Since my diagnosis I havent really been out but I have got a slight balance issue and before I knew I had ms if I was out with friends I always used to have a fall whether I had one drink or loads and used to wear some gorgeous stilettos, platforms etc and put it down to being clumsy and friends used to think it funny.
So since my diagnosis I decided wedges would be the way to go to give me height as I am rather vertically challenged and to hopefully give me more balance.
So then last night I completely ruined a night out with my hubby, best friend and her hubby. Walking along after having a lovely meal and only a couple of drinks, holding hubbys hand next thing you know I am on the deck and took hubby with me, it happened right outside a busy pub entrance and I must have looked wrecked with the way I went down, to make matters worse it seemed to take ages for my legs to want to let me get up again. We managed to head to another pub but as you can imagine by this point I had lost any interest in having a good time and felt very ashamed, everyone was lovely but I just felt so stupid. My besty seems to think that if I am safer in flats then to give up and wear flats from now on, but I am only 33 and dont feel I want to be stuck in flats forever yet.
I now have two very badly bruised knees the left is extremely bad and a bruised left wrist.
So the question is do I give in and get rid of any heals even though I recently bought loads of lovely wedges in the hope they would be ok?
Or as I fear the answer is as clear as the nose on my face?
Sorry probably sounds like a stupid thing to stress and worry about!

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Ow I do really sympathise. I havent given up on my high heels,but they have been more of a block heel rather than stilettos. I have fallen over in heels and flats, with drink and without drink. I am very reluctant to give up my heels as I would wear them even to go day shopping. If the heels go, then its taken another part of me and Im not ready to go there yet. Balance is still a major issue for me, as are tremors in my legs, but this would happen even if I were bare footed…
Dont give up your heels/wedges…. its definitely not in my vocab ….. yet..
take care

Bow to the inevitable and go for safety rather than the Sex In The City look. I too have had to give up heels, even small ones.
I can’t fasten shoes and have to go for velcro fastenings now. a smaller gene pool of available shoes, yes BUT there are nice ones out there. Its nearly summer and sandals, even flat ones will be IN so theres the upside. I too hate falling and it rakes me forever to get up. Get others to do the “carrying of drinks” bit. Its better than spilling or tripping, which i was doing. Even in coffee shops, i ask for assistance…..tis better than losing half in the saucer!!

I used to wear heels, but I never loved them.
Since I was diagnosed, my balance is off, and sometimes I trip over my bare feet, so I don’t do heels much anymore.
If I have a dress that needs something more dressy, I will get a kitten heel with the smallest heel.

I really feel for you, as I loved my heels and have had to give them up. It might seem vain and silly to some people and I understand that, but these things are all a little part of who you are. I gave in and sold all my heels on ebay – I now have three weddings to go to and no idea what to put on my feet!

I always wore heels (due to being vertically challenged) but, unfortunately, they were shown the bin many years ago.

I felt that after falling, tripping and feeling a right idiot, I had to do the sensible thing………..but oh, how I miss my heels!

Whatever you decide, take care

Oh danigirl I completely and utterly sympathise with you and I am having exactly the same dilemma. I bought the most beautiful pair of six inche, peep toe flared heel shoes a few months ago and still have not been worn (bar tottering round the house in them!!) I have conceded defeat….for now!!! I WILL wear those shoes, but maybe just to a house party or even be brave and wear them on a night out but take some trusty flats just in case!!! I have gona a ‘little’ mad buying flat pumps but there are some gorgeous ones out there (try schuh they have tonnes!!!)
We’ll get back in our heels again though!!!! I promise you!!! Xx


I’m right there with you! Use to wear all sorts of boots and heels all the time but now I fall over wearing nothing but my bare feet. I’ve admitted defeat and now wear flats and flip flops. Hoping to get up and wear some of my old heels again at some point!

Definitely don’t give up on the heels, do both! Just means you have to buy more shoes!! Shame eh, ha. Seriously though you’ll have days when you can and ones when you know it’s out of the question. I’ve still got all my heels, tend not to buy so many these days but still always gravitate towards them first. I’ve quite a few high heel ankle type boots (good with trousers )’ they seem to help at bit having more support, but probably wouldn’t choose to wear heels if I knew I had walking or standing to do, tend to save them for the more posey occasions! Ha. Good luck

Thank you all for your support it means alot, its nice to know its not just me going through this, its annoying more than anything but there again one way to look at it is if I am out with the girls and in my flats I will be able to dance all night and will have no problems with sore feet the next day lol!!

SO I think I am going to stick with wedges but maybe smaller ones and my comfy flats, as you said Ophelia there are some lovely ones and get rid of the higher wedges and admit defeat completely on the high heel front at least for now for my safety and my poor hubbys lol!!

Thanks again all

Well i reckon tis better than falling over (never a good look), wobbling abt (ditto) and the bruises that entail from both. Especially in public………I too am “vertically challenged” 5′ 3″
But they say good things come in small packages. Just keep reminding em!

Completely agree and thanks, the bruises are definitely not worth it and are very sore oops lol, maybe I have learnt my lesson this time???lol

Oh and p.s how is your husband?! Not too bumped and bruised I hope!! Heal up well, arnica works really well for bringing out bruising!xx

Listen girls,
Look what most of the girls at uni ware.Flats in hundreds of shades and colours.They look ok to me. After two scaphoid fractures both at the same time, there is know way i would go back to killer heels.

Not heard of arnica, what is it and where can I get some? Hubby is absolutely fine, no bumps or bruises on him he tried to stop me falling and then managed to do some sort of roll to stop from hurting himself, he thinks I ended up in such a bad way cause I had hold of his hand as I fell but reckon that probably cushioned my fall a bit, I dont know the things we do to try and look good lol!

Arnica is a herb that helps with bruising, I think you can buy it either in tablet form or essential oil to put in a bath, can get in in most health food type shops! Glad hubby is ok and kudos to him for helping to break your fall. Definate hero points scored!!!

Nice one I will have to have a look for some, think it might come in handy.
Hubby is great bless him, he is definitely in the good books for trying to help, but there again I am really lucky he is I goodun!!

another one for bruises and those stubborn aches….even put it on my legs the other nite, they were “buzzy”. TIGER BALM……you can get it from most chemist….there is red and white. RED is stronger. Works like Deep Heat. Dont get it in eyes, mouth and WASH HANDS…….the red stuff stains yellow (on clothes. Its mighty powerful stuff and pongs, but wooo hooo it works!

having gone through the same thing a few years ago from high heels to wedges to flat everything I can totally sympathise with you. It is a dreadful thing to have to go through but I kept all my really nice stilletoes etc in a box as couldnt throw them away and now enjoy watching my daughters dressing up in them and tottering about.

I’ve persevered with my heels although if I’m honest I’ve steered more towards wearing a block heel. I was under the impression that wearing a heel has a sensory benefit as the pressure would stimulate the nerves more (or have I made that up?). I think you should keep your heels and have flats too so you have a choice depending on where you’re going and how you’re feeling. Hope you mend soon and I’ve also been told Arnica is good.

I don’t have the balance issues but after 5 months of numb/painful feet I’m just about able to wear the beloved heels again. I don’t think it’s stupid at all either – they are a part of your identity so don’t feel bad! But what about wearing flats to get to where you’re going, and then changing into the heels?? I now do it all the time and it’s a good compromise. You’ll just need to make sure you buy a lovely new handbag big enough to fit the shoes in…… Shame. 😉

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