Last reply 1 month ago
Fear of ending up alone?

After a painful breakup, I was diagnosed with PPMS in july.

Experiences? Opinions?

I’m quite optimistic, most of the time. But I find it hard to feel attractive or desirable after such a painful break-up and the diagnosis of a chronic disease. (fyi, I’m 28).

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criswell
1 month ago

Don’t worry,you’ll meet someone. I am 65 and was diagnosed when I was 65. I was married twice and was divorced from my 2nd wife 5 years ago. I was broken up about it when it happened but this year I met a beautiful woman who loves me and I am happier than I have ever been. They same thing can happen for you.


criswell
1 month ago

Oops I meant to say I was diagnosed when I was 29,d’oh!


marajade
1 month ago

@fxms…I’m sorry you are going through this. I have every faith that you will find someone to share your life with. My husband of 16 years left me because of my diagnosis. I was 40 years old with 2 young teenagers and this crazy illness. I figured I was going to be alone. But I found an amazing man who loves my kids and never thought twice about my MS. I like to think my ex was not stong enough for this part of my life so God sent me someone who is. Keep your hopes high ☺️


rachschader93
1 month ago

I had an ex boyfriend and pick a fight and leave after my diagnosis. (Turd) I needed help an my ex husband whom I share kids with saw the light and we rekindled things. It is hard to feel attractive when such a heavy thing weighs on us. Not knowing is they are going to jump ship at first notice when they realise the seriousnes of our disease. Grateful he came to his senses maybe the divorce was a mistake after all. Lol. Sending a thought and good vibes your way!


chezy17
1 month ago

I was you over 2 years ago, my ex of 15 years walked out on me and our two children after instigating an argument. I was part way through a rrms diagnosis and it blindsided me. I don’t think he was strong enough to take on the diagnosis either, but he said he wasn’t happy and left for greener grass so to speak!
Was it hard yes, the hardest thing I’ve been through, dealing with a marriage breakdown and the diagnosis wasn’t easy but I’ve done it! I’ve discovered I’m tough, independent and have a new lease for life! I’ve been to Paris and Rome by myself, been on camping and roadtrips with the kids and even signed up to do a degree and I’m getting pretty good at the whole DIY thing 💪!
Sure I have my off days, I’ve dealt with a relapse by myself but I write the crap days off and start again!
Learn to date yourself, find what it is that makes you smile, work out who you are and surround yourself with your friends and family and just live!

Carpe diem right!! 😊


grandma
1 month ago

@fxms, My other half of 43 years left me 18mths ago, but I dared to get breast cancer as well as ms (which I have had for 26 years) and he couldn’t deal with two diseases, either of which can kill me, he is also ill, and is quite a bit older than me, I have had to become a landlady cos I couldn’t afford to heat the house last winter (I live on benefits, not old enough for a pension yet) but I now have 2 wonderful tennants ( one nurse and one pathologist so I should be well covered if I get ill!) I don’t have time to get lonely, I Caravan with a singles Camping & caravan group, go out to the theatre occasionally and generally enjoy life, by the way I’m 62, you have plenty of time and space to decide what YOU want to do and sod the rest of the world😍 (By the way, I got Shingles last week to top it all off but there’s still hope)


vixen
1 month ago

Hello @fxms, let me tell you, even if happily married, this imposter we all have can make you feel unattractive, undesirable, unlikeable, all of those things. So I guess the burden is on us to learn to be confident in ourselves. But it’s hard to ‘big yourself up’ when you have all this MS stuff going on. I truly. Elieve 5e most important part of a relationship is respect. And that will transcend anything, with or without MS. Spend some quality time with yourself. Treat yourself well and have treats often. When your spirit perks up (and it will, I promise) and you feel more positive, things will open up for you. Take real care of yourself, you are just as valuable as the next person, MS doesn’t change that x


brando
1 month ago

Relationships are very tricky without MS, I have had two serious relationships and both of my ex partners knew I had MS.

someone will come along I’m almost 2 now and over the last year I have had not a lot of luck but we all have issues. the only people who will 100% miss out are the ones who dont try.

if there is one thing I know its every person I have ever met in the flesh with MS has such a strong personality, even if they cry behind closed doors they won’t let the world see them as weak and broken only strong and unflinching.

someone will come along I believe in you. MS is not a sentence to unhappiness.

Brando.


fxms
1 month ago

Hello everyone.

I know its cliché, but your messages make me feel stronger, thank you!!!!! I guess all emotions mix up and make me feel I will not be of value for anyone, as I felt I was not valuable for my ex.

I still love my ex, and even though he has since moved countries, he still doesn’t know about my MS. I know I will eventually talk to him about this, but right now it makes me nervous.


gijs
1 month ago

Well, take the advice of 40 y.o gay guy with a pinch of salt (don’t know a lot about female-male relationships 😉 ), but it’s not that bad, I’ve recently started dating (rather than participating in one night stands) after my DX. Haven’t dropped the MS bombshell as of yet, but once you get back into it, it at least seems less scary.


grandma
1 month ago

@gijs nice to hear of someone taking the plunge, good luck. You don’t have to drop the ms bombshell at all if you don’t want to, unless of course your walking or something else gives the game away😍


gijs
1 month ago

@grandma nope, symptoms free at the moment. Baring a slight difference in color vision. Enjoying the dating game 😉


lightning87
1 month ago

I often wonder if anyone would want me if for any reason my partner left me. I am sure there are many people out there that would look passed the MS. People are attracted to personality and looks rather than thinking oh wait she had a chronic illness. And if someone couldn’t look passed that, you wouldn’t want them in your life anyway xx

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