Last reply 1 day ago
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Hello Shift.MSers.

I was diagnosed with early PPMS (male, 28) in july, 4 months after breaking up with someone I still love. The break up was slow, painful, emotionally violent.

Today I went for a drink with this person, mostly to share my MS diagnosis and my treatment plan with a newly approved drug for my condition.

The response to the MS news was…. normal. Even though i was free to speak about it, not knowing anything about the disease leaves the recipient not knowing what this really means.

Besides MS, I had to listen to how great life has been this past year, all the people he’s met and how fulfilling life has become after ‘going out of the closet’. Meanwhile, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, suffering from rampant paranoia, with little-to-no social life (most of my friends are gone from the little town I live in), staled in the maturation of my homosexuality and with tons of work responsabilities to asume.

I can fight MS, and I’ve made an effort to distance myself from a difficult relationship, but i feel like I can’t stand my life the last 3-4 years.

I always thought relocating abroad would be an opportunity to start all over, but I am now scared to do that alone because of my MS. I feel it’s my only hope though…

Sorry but I needed to express my anguish…

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fxms
1 week ago

I feel drained…..,


edmontonalberta
1 week ago

@fxms

You had a “slow, painful, emotionally violent” break up. Then you went for a drink with them eight months later & expected support & understanding???

I am not an expert yet it appears to me that you need to move on with your life. Work on dealing with the MS challenges first…

While staying far, far away from your past.


imbarca
1 week ago

Hi @fxms

Sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time. An ms diagnosis is truly shitty. However, one of the few positives is that it can be a catalyst to re-evaluate your life. You will find out who your true friends are and come to understand what’s truly important to you. The latter takes time. Now is a good time to think about what you want from your life. Try and understand why you want to move abroad. To broaden your horizons? Learn a new language? Or just to get away from where you are now?

Coming to terms with your diagnosis and what that will mean for you is very difficult. An idea that helped me was:

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
Joseph Campbell

And not just ‘accept’ – enjoy! Your life will be harder; there will be some really shit times. But there can still be laughter, excitement, achievement and love. Good luck with your journey.


vixen
1 week ago

Hello @fxms, this has been the worst of years for you. Keep making the plans that you are, but give yourself lots of time to digest and process your diagnosis. You will find the right person for you, but you need to be sure with yourself about what your needs, wants and challenges are, emotionally, physically and mentally. Spend some time spoiling yourself, setting yourself realistic targets, and really, really looking after yourself. No wonder you’re drained, you’ve been through huge changes. Look after yourself first so that you can get a partner to do the same, further down the line….x


grandma
1 week ago

@fxms I think you should relocate, if you are thinking about coming to the uk do so before Brexit goes any further in case the reciprocal arrangement for medical concerns between the uk and the Netherlands comes to a halt!😍


aster
1 week ago

Or you can relocate to Amsterdam! I can help you, if you need some pointers or extra info.


marajade
5 days ago

@fxms…I’ve said this before…my husband of 16 years left me when I was diagnosed with MS. I thought life was over. Then I met someone amazing. God removed the person in my life that wouldn’t be able to handle my new life, and gave me someone that handles it brilliantly. It sounds to me like that negative person in your life was removed for a reason. You’ll find someone who will meet you right where you are. And. I say, if relocating is your passion, and it’s possible, grab it and go. It’ll be scary, but live this life!


potter
4 days ago

You need to move on and that might including moving! Stress is very bad for people with MS, it causes exacerbations and relapses that cause more damage. Good luck with your new life. Denice


merfield
4 days ago

@fxms, I too have ppms. Don’t let it win. You are stronger than you think. As to moving: remember you take yourself with you. My advice is cope with one thing at a time. Avoid old flames. How mobile are you? Can you do Pilates or Tai Chi? Concentrate on things you’re interested in. Live ‘in the moment’. If youre able, others often need help so think of their needs and help them. You’re young and changes will have to be made but accept them. So life will be different. Accept it. It is as it is. The sun still shines. We’re all here to support each other. Let us know how you’re getting on. Xx


zulfihan
4 days ago

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
Joseph Campbell

In hindsight, I can say that the main reason for me getting MS was treating life in the way you are probably treating. Working at least 12 hours a day including weekends and never accepting the life as it was so i had to change it my working so long, and in the end.. l realized that l did not or could not change anything.. but get my brain damaged… why is it only me got this monster disease..
Every one is right about what they say..
Regarding relocation.. i sometimes go to Turkey but in a small village where there is only dogs, and olive threes nothing else.. and find it extremely beneficial as l do not get any symptoms, weather is clean and high oxygen and food from the local… it helps…..Think about it…………

hope you will be fine


fxms
1 day ago

@zulfihan @merfield @potter @marajade @aster @grandma @vixen @imbarca @edmontonalberta:

First of all, I’d like to thank you for your support!!!! I really needed to get all out of my system that night.

It took some time, but I am now in a better place. Believe it or not, feeling this way prompted an emotional cascade that ended up with a long-overdue conversation with my family about my homosexuality. I know this is not related to MS in any way, but I knew I had to be honest with my family. Even if I still feel ship-wrecked, the sense of relief I felt gave me much needed peace of mind.

To be completely fair, I need to say that I have received full support from my ex in dealing with being diagnosed with MS. I believe we are not compatible right now, but he is a great person and I am happy to count on him.

Anyway, hope you are all having a good day and I apologize for all the drama!

Pd: I am considering relocating to Europe in mid/late 2019. I know it can be risky, but I really feel it can be an enriching experience for me.


nutshell88
1 day ago

Hi there?
Sorry to hear you’re not feeling so great m
Regarding to traveling

Well you better judge how MS effects you.
I mean if you get relapses often it or suffer disabiloty ut wouldnt be great idea.
But if your condition is mostly fatique yearly or every six months relapses why not

I was 24 years old in 2012!when I moved to the uk I worked and studied
Returned to my country Saudi Arabia 2015!
I was daignosed in 2005 and im a girl I was alone in the uk first time visit.
Time flies abroad hehe.

@fxms

Regarding your homosexuality. Very few people care about your sex life unless you are sleeping with them; or their partner… Hope your family had that philosophy. 😉

Good luck with the MS challenges.


grandma
1 day ago

@fxms If you decide to relocate to the uk, give us a call, I’m a landlady, let out rooms in my own home, I’m right in the middle of England , great train services, you would have a warm welcome😍

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