Last reply 7 months ago
Confidence

Hi All

What’s everyone’s thoughts about MS and Confidence?
At work, at home, whatever the situ, are we all as we allow our individual journeys or does MS impact on our Confidence too?

Any thoughts def appreciated

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edmontonalberta
7 months ago

Confidence is a tricky thing – it varies upon the individual.

When I was younger (until about age 18) I had absolutely no confidence about anything (women / jobs / the future). Somehow in my 20’s I had no fear of anyone or anything – confidence reigned supreme. No matter what I faced or hit me, I actually loved the challenge.

Had many speed bumps throughout my life – some very, very major. They stopped bothering me; including the MS diagnosis. I guess what I am saying – it all depends upon you…


stumbler
7 months ago

@finn15 , it’s natural for MS to affect our confidence, as we try and continue life with the symptoms that go with this invisible condition.

You just have to tell yourself that you’re still the same person, with the same capabilities. Mind over matter…….. 😉


niccis
7 months ago

MS has definitely affected my confidence. Fatigue means I’m less active which means I’ve put on weight (although I’m trying to get rid of that now- 1 stone lost so far in 2018!). That has had a huge effect on my self confidence- I avoid nights out because I’ve got nothing to wear and feel miserable thinking about warmer weather because I know I’ll have to wear clothes which don’t hide it all. Hoping by summer I’ll be a couple of stone slimmer. But MS has also affected my confidence in ways I can’t control. My short term memory is poor and I find I regularly forget important tasks at work. I’m a middle leader in a big secondary school and dropping the ball isn’t really an option so I find myself panicking and overthinking about all the things I need to do on a daily basis just to try and remember it all. I’ve developed lots of strategies to try and manage the situation but nothing is foolproof. It’s frustrating because I used to be brilliant at my job but I don’t feel that I am anymore, despite working and trying harder than ever before 🙁


cameron
7 months ago

@niccis, your experience at work reminded me so much of what I was like – also in a big secondary school. Cognition problems caused me to make two serious errors (mislaying a whole cohort’s taped oral exams plus failing to enter a student for a promised (and vital) AS resit). That really rocked my confidence, as I was supposed to be Mrs Organised. That was pre-dx and things did improve, but the stress of it nearly brought me down. Despite your worries, it sounds as though you’re very much in control of things and probably managing better than all the others who are stressing about work and don’t have to cope with MS!! xx


niccis
7 months ago

@cameron I hope you’re right! I’m lucky that my dept are very supportive and all know that I’m crap at remembering stuff. Someone has usually got my back to help prevent disasters 😊


cameron
7 months ago

I was lucky to have a fantastic headteacher who rearranged a lot of my daily workload and assigned me an unofficial ‘buddy’ in the form of one of the non-teaching staff. I could off-load to her and as she was doing all the personnel stuff was able to quietly steer me round awkward situations and get me out of things that could have been difficult. The trade-off from the school’s point of view was that I took on all the admin and self-evaluation for Ofsted, probably the most hated of all the management responsibilities… but to me it was a lifeline. I became mostly office-based and much more in charge of my destiny! (Wonderful to be retired now, though…) xx


aabreu
7 months ago

Confidence is definitely shaken. I used to have the attitude at work that I didn’t care if they ever fired me. I would have a higher paid job by the next work day. Now ?
I fear a future without this job. Health insurance. I take notes religiously now. Enter important items in task lists. No more working by memory alone.


finn15
7 months ago

@edmontonalberta I agree, Confidence does depend on the individual, experience throughout life etc, i wonder if being confident and accepting of individual limitations help in MS terms?..

@stumbler def mind over matter, confidence high or low, we can all push ourselves to our limits and beyond-in my opinion-the mind is a powerful thing 🙂

@niccis that’s no good for anyone, low confidence or self esteem makes us all feel no good, but you sound like you are making a start in 2018 to get to where you want to be and I reckon we all should be taking those moves rather than not?
Confidence is it not at its highest when we are accepting of ourselves?
Teacher-no memory issues might give those kids an inch, you be on best form , those kids need discipline, that’s another issue ! Lol

@cameron are teachers ever retired?. Would you say retirement makes someone less confident or is it a individual thing ?

@aabrea lists are everything, I use my lists for everything, even list for lists!, 😆


cameron
7 months ago

Before I stopped work, a (retired) friend told me I would not realise the stress I was carrying until I no longer had it. I nodded wisely, but – she was dead right. The sense of relief at not being responsible for anyone and anything but myself is overwhelming.


finn15
7 months ago

@cameron a wise friend, keeper of our own destiny, it seems
Good you feeling that it’s working for you – less stress equals less symptoms isn’t that what is said?


cameron
7 months ago

@finn15 – absolutely! My stress now mainly revolves around getting the best holiday deals……


finn15
7 months ago

@cameron that’s a plan, nice one . Reduce that stress, live it and keep confidence high I reckon

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