simon2016 17/02/17
Last reply 1 year ago
Can anyone help

I’m really having a serious time Their the moment. I need help with my partner. I have ms and he has bipolar. I don’t no where else to turn to but I’m at my Whits end. My partner has disappeared has done for 3 days now he’s having an episode he hardly talks to me and when he does nothing makes sense. One part of me is saying finish this relationship the other is saying not to. But it’s the amount of stress that is causing me I have no support around me except my in law. She fab but it’s putting a massive strain on everyone but I’m taking the burnt of. Their are no groups around here and trying to get to see a psychiatric doctor is impossible. I just can’t handle this now. Feeling very very very low now

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californiadreamin
1 year ago

I am sorry to hear the hard time you are having. I wish there was more I could say or do, but know you are in good company even if your immeadiate surroundings seem bleak. Is your partner on the appropriate medications? Is his reaction to you related to his condition or is it independent of that? Do you expect him to come back after being gone 3 days?


simon2016
1 year ago

He is on medication yes but has failed to take this since Tuesday nite. I can’t say anything about how he is. He seems OK when talking via messages but quickly his mood changes this is all down to his condition. But like all conditions he’s not taking control of he’s letting his condition control him. He usually does comes back but it’s like when he comes back its as if he’s done nothing wrong. I seem to be blamed for things that he does. I’ve arranged all the help he needs the shrink a councillor change with his medication the lot. But I don’t get any thanks for it. This has happened before but not like this. I have one or two options I can use but I really don’t wanna do it. Either call the police saying he’s a risk to himself and others or get him sectioned under the miss use of drugs along with the high risk that he is


californiadreamin
1 year ago

I am sorry to hear the tough situation you are in. The one thing I would encourage you to do is take care of yourself as best as you can. My wife has MS and we have been following the OMS program (overcomingms.org). It has a number of steps in it, but one of the steps is around mindfulness. We have been learning how external influences of stress can have a negative impact on your MS. In the process of following some mindfulness practices we are starting to learn to put a little distance between things that trouble us and how we experience them. I think the analogy we were given was to see yourself inside the house looking through the window at a storm vs actually being in the storm.

When you say, you dont get any thanks, it seems like you are making yourself angry and upset because you believe you deserve something (which you probably do). Its unfortunate you dont get thanks on top of everything else you are dealing with. However, its likely not helping you to be doing so begrudingly. My thought would be do to it because you are good and kind person that does the right thing in spite of not being recognized for it.

Reaching out in some of these forums seems like a good first step in connecting and changing your perspective.


simon2016
1 year ago

I have been trying to reach out to many people and specific organisations but to no avail,in a way I no I’m punishing myself for this but it’s a lot easier for the professionals to say you need to step back a wait for him to come around. But I can’t I can’t step back until this is delt with. I should walk away but I can’t been through to much just to let go. I no his condition has caused mine to get worse but I can’t let him loose his entire familly because he can’t control his condition. If he doesn’t start listening and very soon he will loose everything that exclude myself his mum brother and other familly. It just hurts because we’ve built up a fab home together if things don’t work and get sorted he will loose all of this and be left with nothing and no one. I can’t stand by and let that happen. When he’s is normal he’s a wonderfull person couldn’t ask for anyone better he will do anything for anyone.


leena
1 year ago

Firstly please stop feeling low (because you can think clearly ONLY when you are in normal mode yourself).
My partner had bipolar and I went mad trying to handle his moods. I left him then (that time I never had MS) because he never took medicine regularly and there were too many other issues as well.
Now after years we are in touch and actually we are the BEST of friends now. I have RRMS now and we both are more mature and help each other alot (as friends).
I am simply saying- Give it some space. Stress can really hurt you and Be there for your partner but STOP causing damage to your own health.


simon2016
1 year ago

Hi thanks. He does take his medication regarding as I have to give it to him but when he’s go’s on a downer it’s very very hard to deal with. He is over of the loveliest people you could meet. But he’s having to deal with a lot at the moment, especially with my recent diagnosis and his mums I’ll health it’s kinda built up but the worst part is I’ve tried so hard to get appointments with professionals but around here it’s almost impossible. I need him to come down from this and talk. Which he can’t do. It even harder for me as I don’t have any familly here and I can’t drive so I feel very isolated.


leena
1 year ago

Cheer up. I can believe you that he’s a lovely person because bipolar is like that. The person can be very sweet and then be manic depressive the next minute. Because bipolar makes you swing from one extreme to another.


cameron
1 year ago

Have a look at the Mind website if you haven’t done so already.

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