I’ve been invited to a friends 50th this coming Friday.. it will be only the second trip out in public with people I know since I’ve been diagnosed back in April 2014. What is there to worry about I hear you ask…? well I am worried about questions en mass about my wobbly walk & walking stick. Also a constant worry is having an accident (you know the worst kind in front of people..!!) I’m going to drive so I don’t drink.. it’s only 10 minutes walk away from where I live but I can’t contemplate walking that far.. 🙁 I’ve put off a few invites out and am finding I am happy to be at home every evening now.. I don’t mind going out during the day so not a more serious condition like agoraphobia (?) just yet.. I used to love the idea of a party.. meeting people.. having a few drinks and maybe throw some shapes on the dance floor..!! but now it’s starting to keep me up at night.. (got a feeling an ex boyfriend might be there so maybe a bit of vanity on my part that I am now disabled.. 🙁 ) I think MS has knocked the stuffing out of me of late because I am still having a relapse (since Sept 2013 so maybe I have got Secondary Progressive MS.) The constant pain in my low back is bringing me down and ironically actually getting PIP just makes my disability more official.. no more denial.. maybe time to face the music but forget the dance I think.. !! sorry needed a vent..
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