Last reply 2 months ago
Anxiety/Depression ?

Hi all,
Im not feeling myself at the moment and not sure what to do. I have a call back from doctor booked on monday but dont even know where to start. Everything at the moment seems to be overwhelming me for want of a better description. I am very fatigued and ache from morning till night but i am still working and intend to carry on. I begin my Lemtrada treatment in october and am understandably nervous about this. My diagnosis and treatment has been pretty quick to be honest and i have coped with it all quite well so far – mostly with humour as that is what i usually do lol. My humour and smile seem to have deserted me now and i am quite snappy and bad tempered to be honest. This is not like me at all but i am really struggling day to day with these feelings of total misery. My friends have noticed the change in me and have been so supportive but i feel i cant keep putting this on them. I feel paranoid about people not liking me any more and worry all the time about losing my friends and family because of the way i am. How can i describe this to the doctor without sounding like an idiot – another thing is i lose my train of thought – i start to speak and forget where i am going with it. How can a doctor help me if i dont even know how to explain how i feel, i have had depression several times over the years but this somehow feels different. Sorry for the rambling x

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vixen
2 months ago

Hello @linzzzi, please be assured that everything you describe is almost par for the course for the newly diagnosed. I recognise everything you experience from when I was diagnosed last year. The physical side of MS is one thing, the enormity of diagnosis is quite another. Then, there is the unquantifiable stuff, for example, how your emotions can become more extreme, how susceptible you are to stress in all its forms, not to mention the old favourite, snappiness and moods. It sounds like you have absorbed and got on with an awful lot. But you need to be kind to yourself and to expect everything to take time. I had my first onset 2 years ago and could never have estimated how long ‘recovery’ from relapse and diagnosis would take. I’d say it was about a year. I’d also say, I am way tougher emotionally and and mentally now, and you will be too. Stay strong, you will get through it…..x


stumbler
2 months ago

Hi @linzzzi , it’s nice weather for rambling! 😉

Don’t under-estimate the impact that the diagnosis and forthcoming treatment is having on you. You’re on an emotional rollercoaster and you now need to start being kind to yourself.

Your problems and ramblings suggest that your stressometer is maxing out. This is probably at the root of how you feel at the moment. You need to sit down and take a long, deep breath.

You have been diagnosed with a lifelong condition and you will be addressing this with a powerful treatment, so you do need to sit down and take stock.

Your Doctor should quickly understand your predicament and hopefully prescribe something to calm you down.


grandma
2 months ago

Hi Linzzi, were you given an ms nurse? If so, ask her to write to your gp and get a prescription for a mild anti-depressant. Don’t hold your hands up in horror and say you don’t want to go down that route, because my ms nurse reckons everyone with ms should be on a low dose just to cope with everyday life especially the newly diagnosed, you are dealing with so much at the moment, especially if you’re still working, use them short term, you can always wean yourself off them when the time is right. Keep your chin up😍


wendyhills
2 months ago

I feel your pain it’s hard to come to terms with the diagnosis and I personally think that it’s probably only just starting to sink in properly I know that’s true for me anyway. I wish I had the words to help you but grandma gave some great advice about the ms nurse I really think you should contact them. I really hope you get the help you need and in the meantime there’s always someone on here to listen. Chin up stay strong your not alone.


linzzzi
2 months ago

Thank you all for your help i have now spoken to the doctor who has prescribed anti depressants and sorted out all my other medication to help with the bladder problems and the fatigue. She understood totally how i am feeling and said the same as you all about it being a normal reaction after a life changing diagnosis. Feel much better today and now i have 2 weeks holiday off work so will have a chance to rest. Thank you again x


michael_di_stefano
2 months ago

Fear not, all of what you describe is part of the bomb to start with.

If I could ask offer any fair advice, I’d say, talk and talk, get it out!

I was alone for the first period and I spoke to myself in a mirror, it sounds insane but, it somehow made me feel comfortable with me, a newish me.

The memory lapse.., just got with it and giggle.

Slow down everything you do, walk a pace slower, think slower, word for word get it out.

I stopped eating meat: it helped
I stopped smoking: it helped
I stopped mad drinking: it massively helped

Most importantly, I embraced my new MS family, we are a small bunch globally of less than 3 million!

I enjoy this family and in treatment rooms we laugh, joke and complain together (not too much complaining, it can become annoying).

You’re never alone, we are all never alone!


the-pond
2 months ago

Hi Linzzzi

You’ve had lots of great replies already, and glad your gp helped. As everyone has said, a diagnosis like ours will have a massive impact on our emotions at some point. A lot of people find they relate to some or all of the classic stages of grief – denial, anger, depression, then finally acceptance. This diagnosis is a bit like a bereavement, and we may find ourselves mourning the loss of our old lives (I should add that the ‘acceptance’ stage does not mean being happy about it; it’s more about rebuilding your life and moving on).

I’d ask your gp if there’s a mental health worker there, as some talking therapy could help (it’s fantastic that your chums are supportive, but talking to a professional can really help). Also, google ‘IAPT’ for wherever you live. It stands for ‘Improving Access to Psychological Therapies. It’s an NHS resource to help with mental health problems. There are articles you can read, or you can self refer to see an actual person (this is the one for Sheffield – http://iaptsheffield.shsc.nhs.uk/managing-health-worries/). Ask your MS nurse if there’s a neuropsychologist you could be referred to as well. They can help with things like your memory.

Dan

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