Last reply 6 years ago
A more realistic assessment

Greetings all, I’ve been browsing here and there for a time but remembered something worth tossing up on the board so I thought I’d share. My girlfriend is a member here on the forums, still working towards a diagnosis.

I’m sure just about everyone here is familiar with the endlessly ridiculous inquiry “What is your pain on a scale from one to ten” that can cause almost as much frustration as whatever brought us into the ER. Such a subjective question so loosely put is so pointless to me, and I always stammer out a response with endless qualifiers “Well, if 10 is waking up during surgery or getting shot in the gut then…uhh…4? I’m utterly miserable and feel nearly stabbed” My girlfriend has naturally had a number of ER visits in the last year, and I think I’ve managed even more in the last couple. In the end, every single time we walk in, even before a doctor starts asking us these routine questions, I look around the waiting area and just wish I’d thought to print off a stack of these to bring them in…

0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don’t know why I’m even here.

1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2: I probably just need a Band Aid.

3: This is distressing. I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.

4: My pain is not fucking around.

5: Why is this happening to me??

6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.

8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.

9: I am almost definitely dying.

10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

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6 years ago

Yeah, the Spinal Tap scale of pain. Very lol 🙂

6 years ago

Marvellous! followed the link, the pictures are classic…….yeah tis on a par with “how long is a piece of string”.
Or “I can walk for 10 more minites” BUT “if you don’t give me your seat NOW my back will spasm and I will scream like a BIG girl”

6 years ago

hehehehe….So very very wonderful!! We definitely need to print this out and take it into the doctors office every time!

6 years ago

Read it to my son and even he laughed! Oh please, this shd be in the magazine!!!

6 years ago

I think I’ll be printing off pictures with the text on back 🙂 Just set up my printer again tonight.

6 years ago

That is a great Pain Scale. My Primary finally stopped giving me those things b/c I colorfully told him they were, shall we say, stressful for the patient. Just too many qualifiers. HAHA
When will they understand, WE MSers ARE NOT TYPICAL.

6 years ago

This is excellent!:-)

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