6 years ago
This has been on my mind for ages….

Why is my sister so mean to me?! I told her that my ESA decision got overturned after months of stress, and what does she say? “you know that’s my tax money paying for that.” What?! What a weird/unnecessery/mean thing to say about my good news!

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Tara, I have been paying tax nearly 30 years!( I feel a lot older!!). It is good to hear that someone worthy is getting help!
All the best.

i’m afraid that it’s very easy for people to fall into simplistic attitudes where social welfare is concerned, particularly sad for you as i imagine you would hope that someone close to you would be pleased that after a rigorous process you have been given the support you need. let’s hope nothing bad happens to your sister in the future or that she is investing in a private health and insurance scheme, this government seems determined to make social welfare a thing of the past.
i’m afraid that my sister seems a bit sniffy when i talk about the problems i suffer with the ms. what chance do we have of convincing strangers if those closest don’t want to be supportive?

that is really good to hear that it was overturned its easy for her to say that but what about if the shoe was on the other foot would she like it.

What’s ESA?

Tara, I cannot believe your sister had the audacity to say that!!!, I would be so upset if that were my sister, here here Grahamfraser!, yes wouldn’t it be interesting if the boot was on the other foot, unless you have this rubbish, no-one can understand, sometimes I think, how can even MS nurses advise on MS unless they have it theirselves!

One of the things that has definitely shown through since my diagnosis last year is that there’s a range of surprises in how people treat MS and the stuff that goes with it. I’ve had people who have been a rock, who I never expected to be and people who I thought would be there and yet ran a mile. I’ve learnt from my own experiences that no-one gives you a lesson on the physical, emotional, practical, financial etc implications of being ill but I regularly think to myself, ‘try living a day in my shoes’ when people are making their judgements. Congrats on getting the decision overturned. People seem to forget that any help we may get is because we need it…we’d love not to need it but instead of judging us for getting some help, how about just being greatful that they are lucky not to need it. Hope that the rest of your family and friends are more understanding:)xx

PS-I had a similar rant the other day…my boyfriend was telling his dad that I was suffering at the mo, serious relapse, off work etc…his dad’s only response was “oh well, we’ve got a cold going round here as well” Level of understanding – zero lol x

Cariad – that’s appalling what your b/f’s dad said!? :-O That’s a serious lack of understanding!?

Hi GMG, yep, I agree. It used to upset me how they treat me and my MS…it’s a taboo subject to them and yet they come up with lines similar to the cold comment every so often. Another one was in another relapse when they turned round and said “you should be kinda glad you’re ill, you get a free car” …to say I was offended was an understatement…slightly bad timing too as I’d just been declined DLA so felt that no-one understood whatsoever. Onwards on upwards though, I have an amazing boyfriend and family who thankfully, couldn’t be more understanding and brilliant:)

:-O to most of the stories above!!

Told my sister what your sister said yesterday, she was disgusted.Have to say am soooooooooooooooooo lucky with family and friends as they are fab.

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