rachaellouise 14/12/17
Last reply 4 months ago
6 months in …

Hi everyone,

Update ….I have to say after 6 months of diagnosis. I still feel angry towards it … Why has my body failed me? Have I done something wrong ? I have many feelings on everything and I’m sure we all have . I feel like it’s my fault ! I’m trying . I am angry . The anger is a positive and a negative for me. Fuel but also stress at the same time.
How do you all feel?
If we accepted ms wouldn’t that mean we had lost hope and if we lose hope then what’s the point.

Rachael X

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stumbler
4 months ago

@rachaellouise , we haven’t lost hope. We just see our MS as an unwelcome lodger that we cannot evict!

The only way forward is to find a way to “live in harmony” with our lodger, so we don’t aggravate the situation.

Acceptance takes time. 12 months or longer is quite normal, so be patient with yourself.


bensdad
4 months ago

I feel guilty sometimes but my guilt my be different. Could I have done more to prevent my son getting ms.
Different food more sunlight a less stressful childhood the list goes on! No parent wants to hear their child has this but I would prefer this than terminal cancer. I had less as as child but do not have ms, well not so far but I’m 48 so there is still time. We can go around in circles blaming ourselves. I’m trying to focus on the best way I can help him to have a good life and keep ms from taking some of his life away. I don’t want him going blind or being in constant pain. There is hope, science is getting better and looking after yourself by eating well taking supplements and exercise can all help? I hope! I don’t have all the answers but I am not giving up without a good fight. We are here to help in all our fight. I known you probably think this is easy for me to say, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. My partner had headaches for 10 years, she was in a lot of pain and the Nuro’s said she had migraines. She did not she had a carvernoma you have probably never heard of this (google it) It was a long battle to get her brain surgery but she got it after 10 years of fighting and is so much better now. At the time we did not want her to be in constant pain, but it brought us so much closer and we learned so much. It also made us grow as people in so many ways. Don’t give up!


marcyg921
4 months ago

I have good days and bad days. Yeah I get angry about it and feel its unfair that someone like me who wouldn’t hurt a fly has ended up with this condition but at the end of the day there’s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is try and manage it as best as I can and when things get at there worst I need to learn to calm it down, take things slow and maybe reevaluate some things in my life. Right now I feel fine but for the past few months or so I have been on a decline and its really woken me up about how I still need to seek out more support to help me get through this. Just remember everyone’s journey is different, some people handle this diagnosis relatively well and others it just takes time but eventually you’ll start to get better.


nutshell88
4 months ago

Not surprised Rachellouise, i’ve been angry all my lofe till 2015 but mostly 2010-2012
Before that i didnt know i have and i was fine but now i noticed its actually slamed shut for year i should be grateful for that 2005 to 2018 is kinda long time and i dont suffer disability at all.
But in 2010 i was saying to myself the same thing my body betrayed me its my worst enemy and so on i was struggling at the university maybe thats why it was dark cloudy back then on my mind and vertigo in 2010 was the worst part of it.

But trust me once you adapt it live each day as it goes without thinking about it you’ll be just fine
At the moment its Just another random thought just like thinking of films mudic family worl ect its part of me and its so calm and quiet so years passes without symbtoms and if anything happens it heals itsepf 16 days max


edmontonalberta
4 months ago

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


kylaj3
4 months ago

This week is the first week since being diagnosed that I actually was good! I was so emotional and depressed and trying to cope with the fact that this is what it is.. but I learned that it doesn’t have to be something that brings us to feeling guilty or angry about.. we can fight it.. we can live our life and not let MS live it for us.. I get up everyday saying and believing “today is going to be a great day” and smile and keep that with me all day.. even when I feel tired or achy I smile through it and still say Thank you God for allowing me to have a great day.. because in this day I woke up , I went to work, and came home to my children.


marlon025
4 months ago

Hi all,

I can understand the anger.
I dont truly understand what you guys go through because i dont have MS, so any comment from me would be pointless.
I want to understand though.
My partner has just confided in me that she suffers from MS. More specifically RRMS. I knew nothing about this condition before today.
I think the world of her and want to help her as much as i can. `I


marlon025
4 months ago

Anyways back to op’s post…

I think its important to know that nothing is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You are not to blame.

However, how you deal with this condition now will define you.

I don’t suffer with MS so I wont pretend to understand what you’re all going through. However, I do know what its like to struggle with issues outside of our control. I have my own issues that i have had to learn to deal with.

We all face challenges in our lives, some more than most. How we deal with these challenges is what makes us as human beings. Its what makes us strong. Its what defines us and makes us who we are.

You are strong, Rachael. It seems to me that you try to use your anger in a positive way. You use it as fuel. However, using anger will always have its disadvantages.

I don’t think acceptance in who you are is to lose hope. I think acceptance in who you are is the greatest weapon you have.


rachaellouise
4 months ago

@stumbler – learn to accept for now ! As stress isn’t good for me , I know I’m angry and I know others are too , I just want it to be inactive!
Dream is a cure ! Everyone’s dream I know ! I can’t settle .

@bensdad – sorry about your partner
. I don’t know why this has happened but I feel that I can’t just sit here and let it destroy me and my life!

@marcyg921 – Thanks – You are doing so well and so strong. I know you’ve been having a tough time but your right I think their is always something else to try and support too.

@nutshell88 – thanks haha you really have so much spirit .
Thanks on good days I’m less angry, bad days angry again sometimes it can be moments daily. I hope to become zen like you ! MS would love it too😊

@edmontonalberta – I love that quite so much. Thanks it helps when I need to remember it

@kylaj3 – your right thank you . It’s mind set😊

@marlon025-you really get it! Your partner is very lucky to have someone with such insight . Yes I do use anger to fuel myself but it can be negative when I just don’t have the energy and I can feel edgy and stressed and stress is a big enemy of MS
I want to do all I can.


nutshell88
4 months ago

Haha yup zen inner and 🧐.. you are already zen in outer since ur quiet pretty 😉 be safe

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