A 5.55am alarm for anyone without MS would be tiring, for those of us with MS this would be even more tiring, but a 5.55am alarm during a relapse really does feel impossible!
I’ve been off work for two weeks due a pretty rubbish relapse but despite the relapse still carrying on, I am pushing myself to go back to work tomorrow because the guilt of being off is too much to take! This means a ten hour working day plus 2-3 hours of a driving commute! Hard going for anyone right?
I’m fairly new to MS after only being diagnosed in April! Most of my symptoms have been strange sensations, horrendous pins and needles, wet elbows, lhmittes but this time it’s difficulty walking with a reduced strength in both my legs! I had physio on Friday which was really helpful and since taking advice on board I am walking more steadily and am following the exercise to build my core strength back up! My nurse has also assessed me and my strength in my legs has gone to 3/4 out of 5! When I was first diagnosed I was 5/5 so I’m disappointed to have had a relapse which now means my MS is more visible to others! Along with the reduced strength, the fatigue is at all time high! With some days spending the whole time in bed due to just not being able to get up! Both physically or mentally!
For someone who is 28, who has not yet started a family and who has not yet got a mortgage, my full time job is super important to me but I just don’t know how I will manage tomorrow morning and I will no doubt spend the whole of today worrying about going to work vs not going to work! People who know MS would not expect me to go back to work right now but it’s so hard!
I don’t really know why I am posting this but I am guessing there are others out there that know what this feels like, the constant battle of carrying on normally vs having a chronic illness!
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