Background story: First symptom in Feb 2015 (walking issue, baby is one month old), followed by 3 relapses as I go back to work after maternity leave.
Diagnosed Jun 2016 and treated with Lemtrada Oct 2016.
Yet my walking keeps deteriorating despite a change of diet, supplements and stress management through CBT and meditation. I’m a gym addict and cardio junkie of over 10 years, I don’t understand MS. I look good (the invisible illness even to the specialists, the irony) so Assistive devices are attached to my body and I am being encouraged to keep going so I keep pushing with exercises and life, work and family with half a body (left side refuses to cooperate).
Jan 2018 – I’m done, a complete wreck, barely walking from one room to the next, wall hugging – secretly considering wheel chair (how? living on 3rd floor without lift). Fatigue is crushing me. My brain is broken, I can’t think or understand what is happening to me and around me. I’m exhausted, irritable and depressed. Signed off work for 5 months (because I ask my GP). I think my life is over.
During those 5 months, with my partner enormous practical support, I follow some neuroplasticity programs to relearn how to walk and use my body. Lots of Ups and downs, soaking up knowledge and trying to find my way, what works for me and what doesn’t.
Now I’m back at work (reduced hours) – walking with trekking poles (getting rid of foot splint, a short term solution which damaged me a lot), fatigue and brain fog are improving. I can have some good family time. My body and mind are getting stronger. It’s a long road, it’s only the beginning but I’m on it, and I know where I’m going.
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