@TaraRo

Last reply

TaraRo

Jealous!

Aw man, I never thought this would happen but I'm starting to feel really jealous of healthy (non-ms) people :( I feel jealous when I see ppl just walking around by themselves, jealous of [[; carrying things without fear of dropping it/spilling things, jealous of ppl who can see clearly and read signs and even tv subtitles, jealous of ppl just casually reading the paper - the list goes on! *humf* I'm jealous of practically everyone!

chueykooh

@chueykooh

I don't know if I am jealous as much as I get really ticked off now when I hear healthy people complain because they're tired or they have the sniffles. I have to bite my tongue because sometimes I feel as if I'm going to fly off the handle and tell them to shut the hell up before I give them something to complain about :) I know how you feel, but I try to remind myself that I was the same way before I knew what real problems were.

bornhorsey

@bornhorsey

Oh, good, not just me. When my mobility went tits up a few years ago I h-a-t-e-d plenty people who could still walk. Still do really. Have learned that having MS has not made me any nicer. Sigh.

TaraRo

@TaraRo

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I saw someone run down the stairs (I think it was only 3 steps!!) then I tried it...not a good idea, haha.

markms

@markms

hi sorry you feel like that hope your ok? how the baby and you?

smallbrowngirl

@smallbrowngirl

I agree with u, chueykooh, I don't think I'm jealous. But my confidence has taken a huge whack, so tend not to do things in front of normal/healthy people. Wat ticks me off the most is people complaining having to stand whilst in a queue, arrrgghhhhhhh

TaraRo

@TaraRo

Ah yes, thanks markms for reminding me - i'm jealous of ppl holding babies in their arms while walking or even just standing up. I can push my baby around in a push chair though :D

Gav

@Gav

I was watching a film last night and there were a couple of people just walking down the stairs, holding large objects in their hands and I couldn't help but think 'Don't they need to hold on to the handrail?' and I realised that that had become the 'normal' for me. It does just really make you realise that in life, there is no such thing as 'normal', its just the socially accepted/standard way of doing things

zoom

@zoom

Jealousy, self pity, hate.... Although uncontrolable feelings some times! Are so negative, unnecessary and eventually serve no purpose but putting you down and forcing you to withdraw from the rest of the world. Just let go... There is nothing wrong with the world or non-ms people, it has always been the same, some whine, others suck it up and move one, some brag other are humble (I hactually had a fellow MSer tell me how many marathons he's run since his Dx, when some of us can bearly walk) it takes every kind of people. How about complaining how filling a wonderful pizza is to someone who's just been diagnosed with celiac disease. The list goes on, some people don't eat pork, drink booze or are just plain different, ms or not. Tolerance, live and let live and focus on your happiness not you relative misery! Recently discovered this site and I'm loving the fact we can interact with people who understand our challenges better than most, but let's be careful noy to turn this into this insular ghetto of "poor me" MSer's. There is so much more to life and I refuse to be solely defined by this disease. Keep things in perspective and enjoy what you can, life is good. Now winning the lottery would make it much better ;-) Haz

chueykooh

@chueykooh

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/zoom/' rel='nofollow'>@zoom</a> Your words are powerful and true but I don't think this topic was intended to be a "poor me" or a self pity thing but rather a discussion of our feelings about having this disease and how it makes us feel sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I do agree with what your saying. I also think it is healthy to be able to vent and describe feelings we are experiencing without ridicule as it helps us to deal with them knowing we are not alone in our thoughts and it is also part of the healing process. And yes winning the lotto would definitely help my state of mind :)

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

Thank you @chueykooh. I too am having this horrible hate for people walking right now because I am losing my ability to walk! I was ready to bitch his ass out! Obviously HE has already dealt with it or has YET to deal with it! I just told a "supposable" friend to f$&k off because she had the balls at Christmas to call me and say to me "be glad you can't walk. I am at the mall shopping and my feet hurt I can't walk anymore"!!! Really!!! Really!! I wish I was at the freaking mall shopping!! Then she says to me "get over it, MS only gets wOrse" no shit??? Knowing it may happen, and dealing with it when it DOES HAPPEN are 2 different things!! She smokes so I used this as an example "So when you go to the Dr and he tells you that you have lung cancer don't be upset or surprised. YOU KNEW IT WAS A POSSIBILITY!!" SOOO on that note <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/zoom/' rel='nofollow'>@zoom</a> we have good days and bad days and we are allowed to bitch about the bad days. If you want to make someone feel like shit then don't read people's stuff let alone climb on your high horse that they "shouldn't feel that way"--- ok done now!!

zoom

@zoom

Apologies if I offended anyone, I was simply trying to put a positive spin, too bad I don't know how to ride horses, small or high, I understand they seemed to have helped Gov Romney's wife with her ms ;-) or at least this this what they want us to believe to justify their privileged life style ;-) And <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/hairstylst73/' rel='nofollow'>@hairstylst73</a> if you ever need to have a winge or bitch my ass off, please go ahead...I'm a big boy, if it makes you feel better and puts me in my place that's all that matter. Hopefully you'll have more good days than bad ones that's all we can wish for Haz

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

I find most people on here positive and encouraging zoom. But it was your wording. We all have good days and bad days. But telling people to only focus on what's "good" is hard to do Somedays. Those are the days you either agree with them so they don't feel so alone.. Or say NOTHING at all. We are glad you are happy, but Somedays (such as today) I feel like bitching.. Other days I am more than happy to listen to someone rant about things I once did. I actually liked that rant because I KNEW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE FEELING THAT WAY. will I be pissed off for not walking everyday? NO. But since I am slowly losing my ability to walk right now.. I was glad that I wasn't the only one feeling jealous and having a rant about it. Make sense? No worries. I will be my nice , smartass self soon I hope. :-)

namansareen88

@namansareen88

I look at people jogging and mentally hurl abuses at them...even people walking normally, without sticks. All those b******* with their good balance and coordinated steps, walking in straight lines...traipsing around with their shopping bags. Just makes me crave it more, I think...but definitely makes me green like the Hulk...

chueykooh

@chueykooh

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/zoom/' rel='nofollow'>@zoom</a> You definitely did not offend me, as you said this is an interaction with others that understand our challenges, and that is what is so great about this site. So I just wanted to let you know I did not take offense, rather just wanted to point out that this particular topic was about venting some of the things that bother us sometimes. Your attitude is the correct one in my belief and I do definitely agree with what you said, this particular topic however was probably not the best place to relay that message :) NO worries my friend, we will all help each other and get through this. <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/hairstylst73/' rel='nofollow'>@hairstylst73</a> I appreciate your feelings as well but I never used the word hate and do not hate anyone for being healthy or not appreciating life the way we MSers's do. I might hate one person in this world and even then hate would probably be a strong word, and it has nothing to do with them being healthy. I completely understand your frustration as we do share that in common, but I want to make it clear I don't hate anyone for being better off than me from a health standpoint. I fell like everyone on this site is my extended family, we are all here to help each other and lean on each others shoulders. I will be here for anyone on this site if I can help them, weather our opinions are the same or not. I just wanted to clarify to zoom that I was not personally offended, just not the topic for positive thinking, but for venting and expressing and to you hairstylst73 that I do get frustrated and angry at people like you do but I do not hate for those reasons. Anyway, I appreciate having all of you on my team and I am glad we can discuss, vent, and share with each other, regardless of opinions :)

jat721

@jat721

I definately get jealous... I used to love hot tubs and doing things outside on warm days - hiking, canoeing, camping; now I hibernate in the summer and even my showers are borderline cold (I live in Georgia, it's ALWAYS hot and humid here in the summer.) I am jealous of people who get to spend the holidays with their family, and even see their family more than once or twice a year (Only another 2 1/2 years until we are able to move closer to family). I'm also jealous of people who are on their second child, when my husband and I are still waiting for our first (that's definately the toughest jealousy I struggle with - especially when people "accidentally" get pregnant and either abort or see it as a mistake, and 4 of my 10 close girl friends from high school are currently pregnant). Hmmm... but I'm also very thankful for my husband, he's amazing and so supportive and he loves me even with my ms; we both have amazing families and friends too! I'm also thankful that he has a great career to support us financialy, and there's so many things in my life that I am extremely thankful for. I guess I can't have it all.....

boodle06

@boodle06

Jat721 - good things come to those who wait x

richi1990

@richi1990

I always tell to myself, come Ricardo life is beautiful, u dont know whats around the corner or whats up for you next... just let it go, and try to be happy as u are, theres no way back in this shit, so why complaining about what u have or what u cant do, just live the moment and enjoy the life, whatever ur condition is..

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

I'm chuey where anywhere did I say anything to you regarding hate? Or you hating?????

chueykooh

@chueykooh

"Thank you @chueykooh. I too am having this horrible hate for people walking right now" I read that a few posts up, just wanted to clarify I don't hate, Maybe you didn't mean to word it that way. Not worried about it but you asked so there it is.

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

If you can still walk QUIT WRITING SHIT IN THIS FORUM BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS. AND THAT'S WHY SHE WROTE THIS TO VENT. NOT FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE HOW WE SHOULD FEEL. Will this pass tomorrow for her or anyone dealing with it? Yes. But when she wrote it that's her vent!

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

I was thanking you for what you said to the person that I thought was judging... Then I was talking to tararo( who wrote the post about hating and feeling jealous) that I was going through the same thing. So yes it was read wrong

chueykooh

@chueykooh

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/hairstylst73/' rel='nofollow'>@hairstylst73</a> I know how hard it is, and while I can still walk short distances, it is with a limp, some days I can't tie my shoes, some days I can't see straight, and so on, we all struggle. If you want to vent at me for whatever that's fine, message me, but you don't need to post crazy stuff so everyone else has to read it.

richi1990

@richi1990

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/hairstylst73/' rel='nofollow'>@hairstylst73</a> u should stop writing stuff like that... its ok to vent, but to be angry at everyone? thats not ok, im sorry if u are going through a rough time, everyone here that has ms also has rough times. If u are here posting ur feeling is because u need somebody to gives u encouraging words, but u are not having a good attitude. Just to let u know, im 21 and ms broke all my dreams and plans, i had to stop everything i wanted to do. I cant do what my friends do when we go out, sometimes i feel so frustrated but what can i do?. I know that this is not gonna end good, but i cant be complaining about everything cause thats now gonna lead me anywhere. Just remember that everyone of us is like u. dont forget about that.

TaraRo

@TaraRo

I can tell you what I'm not jealous of - ppl waiting in queues for the toilet; I have a radar key :P (I really don't like ppl taking over a thread with moaning, esp at ppl who started the thread and ppl who reply. Seriously, calm down!! Also, I never said "hate"; this thread is about feeling jealous.)

hairstylst73

@hairstylst73

Sorry tararo. Yes hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. Yes jealous is a good word. But not even jealous. I am frustrated with my own body and I miss it:-(. I miss not having to think about what I can and can't do every morning. And I am doubly stressed because I have an appt tomorrow with the infusion place to discuss going on Tysabri. So I am laying low today so my mouth doesn't start a war on here

lloyd

@lloyd

I'm not so jealous as I think of how inconsiderate of handycapped people i was in the past and find myself constantly apologetic to God asking for forgiveness of my past ignorance.

cameron

@cameron

Not jealous but so sad at the losses. I particularly hate people saying they're just going to 'pop out' somewhere. How I would love to 'pop'.

pottypete

@pottypete

I'm jealous of you lot. You've only got MS.

IANG

@IANG

I AM TOTALLY WITH YOU ON THIS ON I SEE PEOPLE DRIVING WHEN I HAD TO GIVE UP MY DRIVING . SEEING FATHERS PLAY FOOTBALL WITH THEIR SONS . JUST WORKING SO YES I AM JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE TOTALLY....IAN G X.

pottypete

@pottypete

My reply wasn't meant to sound fascetious, sorry if it seemed that way. Yeah, I too am jealous of the fit and able bodied. As I go around on my scooter, I look at them and feel so low (and that's not just because I'm sat down, haha).

lorag

@lorag

I don't hate i am very jealous of walking pple walking without having to concentrate to lift your leg or trying to control ur balance and can carry things using both hands. Also pple that travel, I travelled a lot before i got worse. I do get sick of pple whinging about the smallest things. I never whinge to healthy pple because they don't understand. One thing i do hate is hanging around pple that are bad energy

lloyd

@lloyd

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a> you are so right and hit the nail on the head with everything you just said above. I try to explain to my daughter that I have to think about every step I take, she says whats to think about just do it. And I try to carry bags into my apt and look like I'm drunk, they think I don't see them staring at me. I have made a point to be with positive uplifting people no more negative energy for me, thats why I live alone in my apt.

cameron

@cameron

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lloyd/' rel='nofollow'>@Lloyd</a> - how right you are. I have categorised people into those who make my MS worse, those who have no effect and those who make me feel better. I only make room and time for the last category. Guess that's part of the 'loss' of identity which illness forces on you but I've stopped analysing.

Chris75

@Chris75

Don't know if i'd call it jealousy, but i'm less tolerant of whingers. I have just today removed someone from my facebook friends because I couldn't keep reading the updates about her twisted ankle! It really got to me to read about her choice to be wheeled around in a borrowed chair or how hard it was to do the school run while using a crutch! All I kept thinking was SHUT UP at least it's gonna get better!

msue62

@msue62

It's nice to read about people who feel the same as me. I see people walking downstairs and I think they should be holding the handrail - how can they do that? How can people carry things down the stairs - I have to use all sorts of tricks to get stuff downstairs. I can't walk at the same time as I talk on the phone or anything and it's weird to see other people doing it! I am told I am lucky to still be working (part time) and can only do so because I get a lot of help. It could be worse I am told and I know it could be. But I get tired of being grateful not to be dead. Other people get tired when they do too much or stay up too late. I don't really get tired as such but things simply stop working, like legs or fingers or bladder which quite honestly is worse. There. Moaning over. You've got to laugh. :-D

Chris75

@Chris75

Wish I could favourite stuff on here, <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/msue62/' rel='nofollow'>@msue62</a> It's so 'nice' for want of a better word, to read the things I also deal with, the tricks to get stuff downstairs, I also have to stop walking to do anything, I guess it's more of a sense of understanding than comfort, but I'm pleased I read it. :)

highheeledfagin

@highheeledfagin

I don't think I do get jealous in that way, but I do get a bit put out when I am out with a group of people who just automatically assume that I can do the same things as them, such as "oh, there's this great place down the road we should go to: it's only about a twenty minute walk," and nobody thinks (even when walked with a crutch) that perhaps that isn't a good idea for me. And ice-skating I don't get why people still keep inviting me out ice skating.

cameron

@cameron

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/highheeledfagin/' rel='nofollow'>@highheeledfagin</a> - I expect it's because 'you look so well'.

lloyd

@lloyd

This very thing happened to me last night I went out on a dinner night with a group of meet up friends and they all start talking about lets go hiking or mountain climbing. I was just sitting there listening and one of them asked me how about it Lloyd would you like to go? I just sat there dumbfounded I didn't know what to say.

cameron

@cameron

I've posted this before but when this has happened to me I feel as though I am in a PARALLEL UNIVERSE. I look the same, and as long as I'm not walking there's nothing obviously different about me, but in fact there is a chasm between me and those around me. The outdoors is 'hostile terrain' to be negotiated, there's the ever-present fear of falling and I have to re-interpret every activity to make it accessible. I suppose it's not surprising that very few people 'get it'. And in your case it's probably because you present such a normal way of going about things. You can't be ill!!

highheeledfagin

@highheeledfagin

I definitely get the "but you look so well" thing and it's irritating because the person saying it is usually someone I haven't seen for months because I wasn't so well. People find it difficult to understand that having a health condition doesn't have to mean that we're permanently at Death's door, and even getting a little bit of help can be difficult if things aren't unmanageable but are just difficult.

pottypete

@pottypete

You'll have to get MS tattooed on your forehead, just so they don't forget. >.<

cameron

@cameron

I tell as few people as possible but I have also changed my social circle. Some of my family, (and they DO 'get it') don't cope too well with it. It's because they do understand and it scares them. So I find it better to share with 'just the few'. That's the value of this site.

TaraRo

@TaraRo

When watching Masterchef, I find that I'm not jealous of the super cooking skills; I'm jealous that the chefs can stand up to cook and run to the freezer, walk to the critics while holding plates (sometimes 3!), stand up to find out who's leaving...

lightningduck

@lightningduck

I dyed my hair purple for the hell of it...think next time I'll dye it orange as a subtle hint (over here, orange is sorta the signature color for the National MS Society)

msue62

@msue62

I couldn't stand the level of stress on Masterchef. I love cooking but can't cook like I used to rushing about the kitchen, cooking and shopping on the same day is a no-no! At least I am glad I was never into jogging and stuff like that, mind you I can't even walk far now so it's all bad really. :-(