@rwms30

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rwms30

relationships..

Ahh love relationships and Ms! How's a disabled guy suffering from a complex disease like Ms find the right woman!? I don't mind explaining the basics about how ms might affect ME but it always seems to become a problem with US... thanks ms! #not :-/

Stumbler

@Stumbler

@rwms30 , you just have to try to find the positives in MS. It makes us more understanding and appreciative, especially as we have been given the "opportunity" to reassess the things in life which are really valuable. So, we're less shallow than Joe Soap, showing off his new iPhone! Surely, it makes us a more-rounded individual........... :wink:

binx

@binx

@rwms30 I have the same problem I wonder how I'm ever going to get in a relationship when most people find out and don't want to know

rwms30

@rwms30

@stumbler I like how you said us, a fellow sufferer knows exactly how n where I'm coming from ? thank you @binx Same.. Face value isn't an issue but then the wobbling while walking or not drinking alcohol, the frequent toilet trips, constantly yawning from fatigue or my fave is the need for an early night n not partying lol oh joy lol

naomih

@naomih

The problem is: we are all sat at home, feeling lonely, believing no one would ever want us and not being able to find an appropriate place to meet new people!! Speaking for myself, I find the whole possible emotional rollercoaster of "dating" a little overwhelming!! So I'm going to fester in my pjs and wonder why no-one loves me!!

naomih

@naomih

I also can't even perv at the hotties at the gym because I needed to switch to the one which has LED lighting as the other lighting made my vision go double! But new gym has no hotties ?

potter

@potter

I went to school with a boy that was born with out legs and a deformed hand. He went through depression during college but fell in love with a nurse. They have been married 40 plus years and have 2 children and probably grand kids by now. I am lucky I have a devote husband but I can see how this can be a difficult situation. I think being around groups with more compassionate people will help such as volunteer work or churches. Potter

rwms30

@rwms30

@Naomih That tickled me haha its rubbish! @george1234 I'll take that advice that thank you

JoJos

@JoJos

I have my first date in February with a nice guy who knows I have ms. At the moment I can't feel my right buttock or my leg. I'm sure I would be very popular in some circles!!! Anyway, I believe in love, but I will let you know how the date goes

DeAnne88

@DeAnne88

God will bring that right person to you. We as fighters need to trust that. I'm single been single for 4 years but I believe you will find that person when we least expect it.

Lovestacy04

@Lovestacy04

I also believe in love. You'll find the one at the right time.

Monica2015

@Monica2015

Hi @rwms30, I know it does not appear easy, and I'm sure it is not, but believe me, the right person does appear from thin air when you least expect it. Be open to the possibilities, think yourself worthy and you will attract her into your life. I know I sound all "new agey", but it does happen. Have faith in yourself. Good luck with all. X

OhTheJoy

@OhTheJoy

There are good people that deserve YOU and will look after you. I was just getting to the 4 year anniversary mark in October, the first presentation of ms ended that relationship on my behalf while I was in hospital don't even know how but I've let that go and moved on with someone better. He made the effort to come see me in hospital and is now making a lot of effort to stop me getting depressed and picking me up when I quite literally end up on the floor.. Maybe see MS as a blessing in that it weeds out the wrongens that don't have the best intentions and shows who cares enough to not be phased by it at all?

rwms30

@rwms30

@deanne88 maybe ur god should hit us with a cure.. after all she he gave us ms.. or did it forget to take illness poverty destruction and disease while it was creating man kind.. that's another debate tho x @ohthejoy @avrilt Thank you ladies ❤ true words I'm also a pain to deal with but hopeful

ArianaMSWarrior

@ArianaMSWarrior

I was engaged and dumped after being diagnosed. I want to believe there is someone worthy of me...ALL of me. I'd love to see an MS dating site!!

lilbird

@lilbird

Hi there @arianamswarrior, love the name & the spirit! More power to you! :) ;)

ArianaMSWarrior

@ArianaMSWarrior

Thank you, lilbird. I like your name, too. I love birds. I have a bunch of ink, and several are birds.

ArianaMSWarrior

@ArianaMSWarrior

@George 1234 Thank you. Oh, I know he most certainly does not deserve me. It all happened at once and I felt so defeated. But, as the Phoenix I have always been, I rose above it! I know my worth. And, I am grateful for being spared being married to an a$$! I drove more for myself. I needed to drive. Just. DRIVE. And, being locked up during summer in CT, being in Southern Florida during the winter gave me a summer I could handle. I benefited greatly from this trip. My able-bodied friends stated they wish THEY had the courage to do that drive solo. I proved to myself, that I CAN still do what I want. And, I wanted to not waste time. Live life fully while the parts still work. So I needed to rest. Big woop. I got to "smell the roses." This thread is the first I have posted in. I just signed up today. Liking the kindness already. Ari

reddivine

@reddivine

rwms30, don't give up! Its perfectly possible to find someone after dx, just the RIGHT someone and yeah, you might find a few disappointments along the way. My partner and I met on the net. I had MS for 15 years then, walked with a stick. He had kidney disease. Neither could believe we'd find someone cuz we oth had scars - real and inside. Hey ho, here we are in our 5th year.... You don't have to go around with a sign saying "I've got MS". But if it gets so the 2nd or 3rd date, then perhaps time to say OK, I got health issues, this is what they are.....then if they stick around, they love you for YOU!!

Stumbler

@Stumbler

@zulfihan, your MS has given you additional qualities to your character. You have been given the opportunity to see what is really important in life. This is a quality which can be very desirable. So, never give up. But, don't isolate yourself either. You need to be in social circles in order to locate a partner. Everyone comes with "baggage", so we're no different. :wink:

Monica2015

@Monica2015

[email protected], I know that at the moment, things feel bleak for you. I'm not attempting to sugar coat reality, but they can and will improve if you can attempt to let the negative feelings go, and focus on moving forward. It's a fact that people are attracted to positive people. As is evident from my profile, MS has not been a "breeze" for me, and I'm extremely blessed in comparison to many others. I have lost some very good friends along the way and understand only too well the feeling of desolation and hurt this involves. However, I've attempted to maintain a positive outlook, despite what life throws at me, as it is the ONLY way. Guess what, new friends have appeared, and I've also had a fair few admirers too. I'm not saying this to boast, but to make a point. Like attracts like. It's a fundamental rule in life. You may not appreciate the directness of this post, but in afraid it's reality. The old adage, "if you smile, the whole world smiles with you", is true, and it applies conversely also unfortunately. I'm writing this to help you, not to patronise you. If I could tell you my whole story, you would be shocked as to how true this is, and I mean in a romantic setting, but this is not about me, it's about you. Please treat yourself more kindly (I'm guilty of punishing my body too hard re exercise, so I know only too well how hard this is to practice), and smile in the face of adversity, and it will all come back to you, if not immediately, soon enough. @George 1234 is right. If it's difficult right now to be positive, attempt to obtain some counselling to talk through your fears and concerns. Good luck!

kieranfitz

@kieranfitz

This is something I've been thinking about since I was diagnosed but its been bugging me a lot the last month or two. Not that I've had much luck to begin with but this is another complication along with being in college which means I'm a good 10 years older than the women I'm around and the women my own age (31) are looking for something more serious than I'm looking for (read babies (nope nope nope)). Living in a tiny village doesn't help either.

Monica2015

@Monica2015

@zulfihan, until you value yourself as being worthy of being loved, no one else will either, no matter how positive you are in other, more "safe" areas...

thenatashaleah

@thenatashaleah

@rwms30 I'm not sure if anyone told you, but God didn't 'give' you MS. ''She gave it..'' ''Did it forget..''. Judging by the way you phrased that, I'll assume you don't believe in God. That's fine if that's what works for you, but why would you post a nasty response to someone who was trying to comfort you? Even if it's not in the way you like or whatever, it was a kind gesture to share about herself in order to hopefully bring some perseverance to you. It's nice to be nice, and it costs nothing. So if you're looking for some sort of relationship, you should probably start there.