@mschronic

Last reply

mschronic

Dear MS

Dear Multiple Sclerosis, I am angry at you. We've been riding the wave easily for about five years and although it hasn't been easy it's been ok. But then BAM! This year you've decided to hit me hard and unexpectedly. Three, THREE MRI's relapse after relapse. Urinating my pants and having to run to barely avoid soiling my pants because I cannot control my bladder and bowel movements. I've had trouble driving because I'm seeing double and now I have to change to a super expensive medication on top of my epilepsy and psychiatric meds. I tell people that it's fine and I smile but the thing is I'm not. I can't have babies because the combination of all my meds could be toxic to my foetus. It's painful watching my friends getting pregnant and having babies, wondering whether my babies would look like me. I know I could adopt but I don't want a child to look after their mother when she can't take care of herself. You are a sly thief and if you were real I'd probably kick your ass on behalf of the many lives that you've hurt. However, I cant can I? No. I'm just going to keep smiling until I believe it. If I don't believe it I'm going to do what I love...writing and maybe things will be better. After all it's just a bad day after having to wear adult nappies last night (at 33 years old ...Jesus). Just a bad day.