@londonlad

Last reply

londonlad

First relapse and diagnosis, worried.

Dear all, I am a male 33 old year old. 3 months ago; unaware of what was about to happen,one day I felt off balance and within a week was hospitalised. The balance issues were accompanied with nystagmus causing double vision. I also had Horrible vertigo and vomiting even when drinking water. Of course, I was massively frightened. I didn't know what was going on. I was thinking worse cast scenarios. After seeing several doctors over the cause of my hospital stay, I had a MRI scan that showed multiple lesions and an active one in the spot causing all the current symptoms. I had very little knowledge of what MS even was , let alone realise I was about to be told I had it. 3 days of steriods, and now 10 weeks later, I have made huge improvements which is great. I feel almost "normal" and have really worked hard to help myself. I had to almost learn to walk again, and have been doing physio but still wouldn't say I walk normally. It's really affecting my confidence as I'm super self conscious. I lost my job in finance (contracting) which may or may not turn out to be a good thing in the long run. But does bring stress associated with the various considerations going forward. It took 6 weeks for the vision to normalise, I couldn't be in noisey places and was affected by lights for ages too. This has gradually improved too. I can now walk while moving my head and looking around. But still veer towards the left if not fully focused. I find that I'm still not fully confident in going out as I get overwhelmed by the multiple stimuli. It's getting better but taking its time. I have started treatment already (1st tysabri infusion 2 weeks ago) and believe I'm lucky in some sense to have been so quickly diagnosed. Yet I'm also super scared that it came about so abruptly. Has anyone else experienced such a sudden diagnosis? Does it mean that things are going to get bad super quickly? The one MRI scan showed around 10 lesions and even black holes. So the one MRI showing lesions from different points of time. My MS nurse seems super optimistic about my treatment and I try to trust her experience. Yet I'm just truly puzzled by what's happened the last 3 months. Feel at times like I've lost so much of my independence and scared of a limited future. I'm sorry for negativity as I know it can and likely will get worse. And I should be grateful for the improvements. I feel maybe I had hopes to get a full remission, I wonder if it still could be possible. My neuro said that my balance might not be perfect again, but I'm trying to train to allow otherwise Finally, I'm doing what I can to help things. Ive stopped smoking, eating healthier and being active daily. The one thing of course I'm not managing very well. Is my stress, I feel stressed by the diagnosis, and uncertainty. I'm trying take each day at a time. I appreciate any feedback on your experiences Cheers