@jat721 

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jat721

Question about sex and heat!

I had a relapse a month ago where I got a tingly, electrical feeling in my arms and lost most use of my left hand. Since then it has gone back to normal except for a slight tingle in the very tips of my fingers. I also started getting the lhermittes syndrome during my relapse, which has not gone away. I notice that it's worse when I'm hot, to the point where I can't move my neck at all or I get tingles all the way down to my toes. But now I'm freaked because last week my husband and I were having sex and I completely went all out electrical current through my arms and legs, my left foot cramped up and was stuck in a pointing position and my left hand cramped and I couldn't move it. Also, my chest/shoulders got tight and it was difficult to breathe normally. It took me a good 30 minutes (after applying a cooling neck wrap) to be able to get up out of bed and be able to hobble around the house. My lhermittes also worsened and I couldn't move my neck without being electricuted head to toe. After a couple hours I was able to function normally. I figured it was due to the heat because I had just gotten off work and the house was warm (my husband likes it warm when he's home alone) and I was warm from just getting off work. Since it went away after cooling off, I assumed it was the heat. So the rest of the week we made sure it was extra cool in the house and the ceiling fan was on. I thought we had it figured out and haven't been having any issues. Well, yesterday it happened again!!! and we had made the same precautions. I don't want to be scared of having sex! Does anyone else have this issue and what do you do to prevent it?!? Help!!!
@lightningduck

I don't know if this helps from a mental point of view... For me, Sex and MS is one of those where I can do it but it takes a little more awareness and effort. Other than what <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/heatherl/' rel='nofollow'>@heatherl</a> said about core temperature, sometimes my symptoms are worse than others. Especially my lhermitte's, which can really make thigs awkward and difficult. So I just have to take it as it is every time. Some positions are more difficult or more uncomfortable because of hip soreness, etc... What this all comes down to is that I still do it and we still enjoy it but in my mind I'm making minor adjustments in action and position and reaction. Nothing overt and nothing vocal, just little things. For example, if my hips are sore and that's making it difficult to get in the right position and that's causing my some anxiety which is a mental distraction that makes other things not as workable, I'll either a) suggest a different position which is less stressful or b) more foreplay to settle my mind and enjoy the sexuality which reduces the distraction and makes it easier to 'perform' even with some soreness. I don't usually tell my wife I'm making those kinds of accommodations, I just do it for what makes sense for my situation and our mutual pleasure. Now granted, in our relationship, I'm usually more the guide so it's easier for me to direct things in ways I need that will still be enjoyable for both of us. But I'm finding things go through ups and downs....sometimes are worse than others. Sometimes the physical effort of sex raises my temperature or just gets things emotional or mentally heightened enough that I feel the effects in my symptoms...sometimes not. I try very hard not to second guess what will happen until I get there and then deal with it if I need to *BUT* and this I think is key, it took time and understanding from my wife and practice before I learned what I could and could not do (because I've had one *very bad* sexual experience and a few not so great). One thing we did was picked a night and said "OK, we have a few hours, let's take our time" and we did a mutual massage, taking turns with the massage oil, full body contact, etc... it was a little bit about us but for me it was a lot about finding what would work and not, what my nervous system and symptoms could deal with and not, what I could do physically and mentally and what limits I could reach. A discovery of my new MS body and it's relationship to my own sexual body. We went in with no pressure, no expectations and no rush...and came out with both a a great experience as well as a great understanding of myself Just like anything else with MS, you have to rediscover where you are; I've had to learn to walk a little different and do martial arts a little different and exercise a bit different, etc... Sex is the same way except it involves someone else too who comes in with their own needs and desires so it can be a bit more sensitive to work with your partner and say "ok, we need to discover my new limits and capabilities"

@scotkiwi

Staying cool is vitally important for me. Be it exercise or during Noctural-shenanigans with a second bedfellow participant! My vision goes to pot (in my right eye in particular) when my core heats up - so I need to stay cool to fully partake of the shenanigans! (apologies for crass-ness!)