@bboop635 

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bboop635

Struggling with lack of sex life

My husband was diagnosed with MS 2 years ago when he was 28. Initially he was basically a quadriplegic, but over time he regained almost everything but he really struggles with fatigue, panic attacks, mood swings, depression, impotency, and tingling in his hands and feet. I work from home so when he's having bad days I'm able to take care of him. I feel bad thinking about my needs. I devote as much of myself as I can to my husband, but I'm really struggling too. Sometimes if I bring up how hard it is for he makes me feel bad about it so I try not to talk to him about it. I just turned 31 and we have sex a few times a year at this point. And when we do, he doesn't have the energy to be a dominant partner which is always what I've preferred. I waited to have sex until I was really in love and found the person that I wanted to marry, thinking that I had plenty of time. I now find myself regretting that decision and wishing I had more experiences prior to at least think about. I have a very high libido and I'm going stir crazy. I don't want to leave my husband, I quickly brought up the idea of adding a partner to our relationship or having an open relationship, but he got very upset. I don't want to cheat on my husband either and if I was older maybe I'd be a little more ok with all of this. But I thought my sex life was just beginning, not realizing it's basically over. On top of that I really want a family, but I don't see how that could happen naturally. I feel like there's no good decision here. Stay with the man I truly think is my soul mate but not be fulfilled sexually at all or leave and break his and my heart.
@Stumbler

Hi @bboop635 and welcome. I'm a guy with MS so can give some insight into the male psyche. The effects of MS can severely dent our "masculinity". Our role is the hunter/gatherer, a role which can be difficult to fulfil with the ravages of MS. We should be able to look after our home-maker partner, being the alpha male. With the sexual dysfunction that can be associated with MS, depression is always hovering over us. He needs to go and see your family doctor. Having MS means that we may need some help to alleviate our low mood. It's not a sign of weakness to need some help in the form of anti-depressants. Medication for Erectile Dysfunction is available, but we have to ask. I can really understand your predicament. Your love for your husband comes across very strongly. And, it's good of you to join us on behalf of your husband. Involving a third party into your relationship is a recipe for disaster. Try and get him to open up to your Doctor. :wink:

@Stumbler

And then have a heart-to-heart talk so that you can share both your needs,