@Gazmaster3D 

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Gazmaster3D

MS diagnosis really hit home today

This is going to be a long one. I was diagnosed with RRMS just over 2 weeks ago but have suffered with the symptoms for the last 3 years and just got on with things. Being 33 I lived in ignorance and just got on with it. Bladder, sexual issues and ''brain fog'' problems I put down to my headonistic lifestyle I led in late teens and early to mid 20s. Lots of partying with everything that goes with it (I also gave up smoking pot back in April). My hand problem I was told was carpel tunnel and I could still use it so I thought just man up and and carry on. GP's would give me pills and I would take them and give up then not bother seeing them again. Now I thought I had MS months ago when I was telling my gran about my main current issue, struggling to walk at normal pace or for longer than 10/20 minutes and having to use a trolly to prop me up when out shopping. She said it sounds like MS so I jumped on Google and did some research which lead me to seeking private treatment as the NHS waiting times would have driven me insane. Within 2 weeks of seeing a Nuero and having MRIs I was diagnosed. I have a lumbar puncture Tuesday and a meeting with my MS nurse Thursday to discuss my treatment which is hopefully going to be Lemtrada. Now its starting to hit home, I thought I could deal with it but the walking problems is really getting me down. I hated being dragged out by my wife to go shopping but today, like every day that involves going into town or going places that involve lots of walking I had to stay home and let her go out on her own. I just want my old legs back to allow me to walk again. The last 4 months they have got worse but seem to have leveled out recently and are not getting worse but I just want them to start getting better. My moods are up and down. One minute I'm ok then the next the smallest things start me feeling really angry and I have to take a minute out on my own to compose myself so I don't argue with my wife who is being really strong but I know deep down she is struggling like me in her own way. My kids are keeping me getting out of bed everyday and I don't know what I would do without any of them. Anyway I just wanted to get some things off my chest and have a little rant instead of loading them all on my wife and if you have read all that thanks. Peace out.
@Sonia1984

I have had symptoms of Ms as early as 16 and finally received a diagnosis last October. You have just found out two weeks ago and symptoms versus actual diagnosis are two different things to deal with. Symptoms that we can easily find means to brush off versus having an actual Doctor finally give you a diagnosis. Your going to go through a lot of stages in early diagnosis. My first stage was denial then balling my eyes out which got old really fast for me. I have now accepted the "Doctors" diagnosis and moved past the self pity to guilt that my child and hubby are stuck with someone "broken and malfunctioned " like myself. Ms has made me a completely different person. With my Ms diagnosis it gave me a greater appreciation of the little things in life. I appreciate my hubby and my child and the time I have to live in the present day to day. I found before the Ms I was always worried about my career, money and always being on the go. Ms slowed me down and not being busy and having to stop my busy schedule was worse then the physical toll of a relapse itself. Time heals and keep a positive attitude as hard as it can be. Your going to go through a lot of emotions but I think we're both lucky to have a loving partner and our children. Practice patience and appreciate the quiet times with your family even if it's lazing around for the day. Don't be afraid to ask for help whether from your family or your doctor. Don't stop living life and fight through the fatigue as best you can even if it requires a little nap here and there and you have to do that before a day out on the town. I actually ended up taking an anti anxiety pill which really helped to calm me. The build up of anxiety with this disease can trigger us to lose our patience and we end up having some verbal diarrhea moments. If you have to go that route then by all means I advocate it, it really helped with the rage issues that I use to blame on my Italian ancestry ? Now we both had a rant !

@Stumbler

Hi @gazmaster3d and welcome. Wise words from @sonia1984 above. Yes, it is a shock. Suddenly, your future, which is an unknown quantity, has become ...........................an unknown quantity! But, seriously, you have a medical condition, which has now been identified and it can now be treated. OK, it is a presently incurable condition, but the range of treatments has become more extensive and more powerful. Lemtrada is the latest treatment and has been hailed as, "the closest thing to a cure, without calling it a cure"! So, there is cause for some optimism. There's never a good time to be diagnosed with MS. But, if you're going to be diagnosed, then now isn't a bad time.